Post by -wiz- on Jan 16, 2004 0:48:59 GMT -5
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parent is
taking their own sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly place them in people's
carts while they aren't looking
> > >
> > > 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
> > >
> > > 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.
> > >
> > > 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official
tone, "Code 3 in
> > > Housewares"and watch what happens.
> > >
> > > 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay
away.
> > >
> > > 6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
> > >
> > > 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll
> > > invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding
department.
> > >
> > > 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask, "Why
> > > can't you people just leave me alone?"
> > >
> > > 9. Look right into the security camera, using it as a mirror,
and pick
> > > your nose.
> > >
> > > 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the
clerk if he
> > > knows where the anti-depressants are.
> > >
> > > 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the theme from
> > > "Mission Impossible."
> > >
> > > 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look using
different
> > > size funnels.
> > >
> > > 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say, "Pick Me!
> > > Pick Me!"
> > >
> > > 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume
the fetal
> > > position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
> > >
> > >
> > > And last, but certainly not least...
> > >
> > > 15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a few
minutes, then
> > > yell loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
taking their own sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly place them in people's
carts while they aren't looking
> > >
> > > 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
> > >
> > > 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.
> > >
> > > 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official
tone, "Code 3 in
> > > Housewares"and watch what happens.
> > >
> > > 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay
away.
> > >
> > > 6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
> > >
> > > 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll
> > > invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding
department.
> > >
> > > 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask, "Why
> > > can't you people just leave me alone?"
> > >
> > > 9. Look right into the security camera, using it as a mirror,
and pick
> > > your nose.
> > >
> > > 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the
clerk if he
> > > knows where the anti-depressants are.
> > >
> > > 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the theme from
> > > "Mission Impossible."
> > >
> > > 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look using
different
> > > size funnels.
> > >
> > > 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say, "Pick Me!
> > > Pick Me!"
> > >
> > > 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume
the fetal
> > > position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
> > >
> > >
> > > And last, but certainly not least...
> > >
> > > 15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a few
minutes, then
> > > yell loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"